Even though I haven't been in England for about nine months, I haven't managed to escape the presence of David and Victoria Beckham (Posh and Becks).

They're everywhere, advertising everything. Mobile phones, chocolate, cars, TV stations, skincare products. You name it, their face is on it.

David advertises chocolate for a company called Meiji. In fact a huge lifesize chocolate Becks was made in honour of his visit to Japan last year. On the TV advert for Fran (chocolate sticks) he says, 'One love. Big peace. More Fran. Be sweet.'

Cheers for the advice Dave. You've changed the world with your wisdom.

Last year, they both signed a contract with the Tokyo Beauty Clinique(TBC) for a reported two million pounds. What is even more frightening is that the skin cream that Victoria advertises to reduce ageing, costs one hundred and seventy five pounds.

The advert they do for TBC beauty products is definitely one of the most cringeworthy I've seen. Posh is in the bath and it's full of beautiful flower petals floating on top. David, no doubt feeling left out, decides to have a bath in the one next to her. We then see him putting something into the bath.

Ooh, what are you putting into your bath David? Flowers?

The camera then pans to David in the bath and guess what he's put in the bath.

Footballs.

He then cheekily raises his eyebrows to the camera, in a vain attempt to fool us into thinking he possesses a personality.

I have to admit it will be interesting to see if his recent affair has any effect on his marketability in Japan, as it is the strength of his relationship and commitment to family values that have been used to sell the Beckham brand here.

There is no escape from them. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Their quest for world domination is relentless and they will not stop.

The official website for TBC is here.